Have you decided it is time for you and your family to move? I am sure it is with great reason and you have thought this through carefully. Because let’s face it, you wouldn’t go through with a move when there’s a teenager in the house if you didn’t have a good reason. Teenagers are in a very sensible state in their life and a move will be a lot harder on them than it will be on you or the younger children.
Teenagers go through a psychical and physical process that is rather hard on everyone. A move from their home is possibly what they need the least, at least from their point of view. In this certain time in your life everything is hard. Social aspects in school, making new friends, handling hard situations, homework and on top of that, your body goes through tons of things like growing and hormones which doesn’t really make anything easier. The first thing that they will think about when you say that you have decided that relocation is the way to go; is their friends. Leaving everything and start over is not really what every teenager dream about. The safety of the home and their friends is very important at this time in their life. It is a time when they are shaping themselves into adults which is always confusing. Because of this they are searching for acknowledgements in people that know what they are going through, their friends.
What you need to do is to let everything out in the open from the very start and try and understand your child. Everything changes right now, their size, their feet, hair, voice, wills, responsibilities etc. They are in great need of the security in the home to and to change all that too will not exactly be easy on them.
You will need – now more than ever – to know when to be there for them and when to give them their personal space. You have always been able to read your child but at this time not even your kid knows how to react to different things.
So instead of trying to listen to reason in the beginning they might storm out, slamming the door, screaming that you are doing this to ruin their life etc. etc. When they are like this there’s not much that you can say to them to calm them down. So to try and reason with them will probably only be a waste of your energy and patience. Wait out the storm and choose a good time to explain to them why we are moving. Maybe (hopefully) they won’t even be sad about it; maybe the move is the reason to the fact that your kid needs a new start or maybe he or she will just be fine with it and understand the benefits the changes will bring. Just make sure that you remind them of that they can always visit – try and schedule a visit a few weeks after your move – their friends and old school. This may make the relocation less hard. Speaking of school, you should try and schedule the move to summer break and not during mid-semester; if coming to a new place when the autumn term starts they may have someone in the same position as them, plus they will have time to adjust to their new home first before taking the big step to a new school.
During this time you may not have a sunray shining from your teen but do not let this make you feel bad, just be there for them and things will turn out fine.